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365 Woes, Worries and Wonderings

June 17, 2009

Poladroidaday

Above is my sad attempt at a 365 challenge. I thought I would make it interesting by doing a Poladroid a Day. A Polardoid, for those who don’t know, is a program you can download to make your images look like Polaroids. Sometimes it works, sometimes the results weren’t really what I wanted. Perhaps that is why I gave up after a meer 55 images.  55! That’s it! Out of 365, that is pretty low. And even these 55 it took me over three months (longer than 55 days for those who are counting) to do.

On Flickr, so many people are doing 365 challenges, I didn’t think it would be as hard as it was.  Maybe it’s just me, but I’m pretty sure there are a few other 365 dropouts out there who feel the same as I do… It’s just too much! When you have an hour commute in the morning and another hour in the evening, then laundry, cleaning, making dinner, and trying to take some time to enjoy life without looking at it through a viewfinder (GASP! I know!), the 365 challenge just seems to be the thing that keeps getting posponed. I can’t even begin to imagine how people with kids do it, all I’ve got is a boyfriend and a cat! I would like to say that time and being busy are exactly why I gave up on my 365, just to busy being alive and all that. But I know that’s not the only reason.

The other, hidden, reason that I gave up is that I was too worried that people wouldn’t find my life interesting enough to be worth looking at photos of it. Even though I got wonderfully nice comments from some of my wonderful Flickr Friends, this thought always nagged me in the back of my head. I was always envious of other peoples 365’s. They always seemed to be doing far more interesting things, to be in a more photographic place, to have much better light in their homes… the list could go on. And in the end, I was so worried about what others would think and how my photos didn’t match up, that I lost the whole point (for me) of taking photos.

I take photos for myself. I take photos because I LOVE to process them in photoshop afterwards. I take photos because when ever I click the shutter, my heart gives a little jump. I take photos because I love the sound of the shutter clicking, because sometime looking through a view finder helps you see things you never saw before and to appreciate things like a sunbeam, a blade of grass with a ladybug, frost covered leaves and such all that much more.  Having people like my photos is a perk, but isn’t the main point of taking them for me.

Or at least it shouldn’t be. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with wanting people to like my photos, to favorite them, comment on them and to be in the Flickr Explore line up. But those feelings all come when I’m done with the photo, when it’s out there in the world. When it’s just me and my camera, it’s just me and my camera and nothing else matters.

For anyone else struggling with 365 woahs, but wanting to struggle through it some more, here is a lovely post over at Shutter Sisters about 365.

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